Early sexual relationship
Talking with a child about sex
My son (he is 9 years old) periodically masturbates. And when I suddenly go into the room and notice this, I don’t know how to behave properly, what should I do and say in such cases?
Talking with a teenager about sex
The article is taken from here. Actually, talking about sex is very important for the child, so it is not recommended that parents avoid talking about this topic with their children.
To make it easier for you to start this conversation, we offer several basic questions that should be revealed during the conversation:
1. Are sexual relationships good or bad?
This is probably what you should start a conversation with your teenager with. It is very important that your assessment of sexual relations is positive. After all, if you say “do not do this!”, “This is bad” or something like that, your child will probably just neglect your advice, and indeed will never consult with you regarding the issue of relationships between different sexes.
2. How should sexual relations be considered?
Parents should explain that sexual relations are the result of the development of long-term relationships between people, and not spontaneous actions.
During the conversation, it would be nice for parents to talk about modern contraceptives, which ones are more effective, which are less effective, where these contraceptives should be purchased, and why they are needed at all. In a conversation, attention should be paid to what unprotected sex can lead to (unwanted pregnancy, various diseases, including incurable today!).
4. When to start a sexual relationship?
On this issue, it should be explained why teenagers often engage in intimate relationships (pressure from a partner, because girlfriends have already done this, because of alcoholic intoxication, in order to win the respect of friends), give an assessment of this and voice when it is recommended to start leading sexual life (psychological and physiological readiness, the presence of strong relationships).
You can also prepare the appropriate literature for the child (articles from various magazines), record television programs on the topic of sexual relations on video, find films on this topic so that the teenager has the right opinion about intimate relationships between people.
During the conversation, you must make it clear to the child that you are ready to talk on this topic, discuss various issues and help with advice.
I can only say one thing that the best remedy on your part would be a policy of non-interference in this aspect of your son’s life. For everything that you can do based on the best of intentions will be more harmful, rather than vice versa.
Well, one more tip. If you don’t want to see it, throw out your habit of unexpectedly entering your son’s room. It’s best to just call him if you really need him for something. Otherwise, he may have a very unpleasant feeling of lack of personal territory, where he can feel in real security. And this can give rise to so many different neuroses and fears that it’s better not to remember.
Well, children’s masturbation …, over time, it is likely to simply come to naught. If in life there will be more interesting reasons for getting pleasure.
About masturbation – 2
To quote a psychologist V. Levy:
“Masturbation. Calm, calm. No scandal. No shame, especially threats. Masturbation is not harmful in itself, but in the way they are treated. Masturbation is only a sign, and this is what first of all means: our two children lack two main children’s medicines: joys and movements. Health measures are in the first place. As much freedom as possible, space, outdoor games.
If it happens to be caught up in this lesson, gently, calmly, we will only say once that it’s better not to do this, but not to go into explanations, not to frighten anything, and not to outline any “consequences”. Immediately confidently declare that now this will be less and less wanted, that soon it will be able to do this completely.
We will be sure of this ourselves – and the suggestion will work, if not immediately, then after some time. “