HOW TO DO IT?
I became convinced that the best way to give yourself into complete and undivided possession of your child is to set certain hours that you will spend alone with him. You may have thought about how difficult it is. And it is really difficult. To find time to be alone with a teenager, disconnecting from all worries – this I consider the most difficult of parental responsibilities. She cannot be ignored – it takes a long time to be a good parent.
However, finding free time in our hyperdynamic age is also not easy because a teenager has many other interests that parents have to compete with. All this only confirms the fact that the undivided attention of parents is extremely necessary for adolescents, especially given the bad influence from the outside, which today is stronger than ever.
It is clear that making time out of our busy work schedules is extremely difficult. But if you do this, you will be fully rewarded, for there is nothing more beautiful than seeing your teenager happy, knowing that he is safe, that he can get along with peers and adults, that he studies well and behaves well. But all this does not come by itself, parents must pay for it. We should take time to be alone with each of our children.
I know how difficult it is to allocate time correctly. As for me, I always tried to leave it for children as much as possible. For example, when my daughter Carrie had music lessons near my office on Mondays in the evening on Mondays, I planned my business meetings so as to be able to pick her up after these lessons. Usually we went to some restaurant and had dinner together, and for such dinners, when there was enough time and no one interrupted us, I was completely provided to her and listened to everything she wanted to tell me.
Only under such circumstances, one on one, without outsiders, can those special close relationships arise that every child needs so much to cope with all the life troubles. Children are very cherished by such moments and remember them when it is difficult for them, especially in teenage years full of conflict situations.
It is also important for parents to know that, giving their children undivided attention, they should strive for both physical and visual contacts with them, because it is at such moments that these contacts acquire special significance for the child.
It is also important not to miss the opportunity to use other, unforeseen circumstances to be with your teenager. For example, you find yourself alone with him. Use this to replenish its emotional capacity and thereby prevent difficulties that may arise due to the emotional vacuum. Let this period be very short – even a minute or two of undivided attention can work miracles!
Every moment counts here, since the stakes are too high: what could be worse than a obstinate and wayward son or daughter? And what could be better than a balanced, harmoniously developing teenager!
Without a doubt, constantly devoting full attention to children is difficult, it takes a lot of time, and sometimes it becomes unbearable for exhausted parents’ problems. But such attention is the best way to maintain the emotional capacity of your teenager in good condition.
As your children grow older, the time you devote to them should also increase. Older children need more time to relax, open up, and feel ready to share their innermost thoughts, especially those that are troubling.
When children enter adolescence, their craving for a family increases, and not vice versa. It is generally believed that as soon as our children become independent, they want to be outside the family as much as possible, which means that parents can spend less time with them. In fact, this is one of the grossest mistakes of parents. When their children turn into adolescents, parents increasingly use their free time in their personal interests. Meanwhile, all the teenagers I dealt with interpreted it as if their parents were pushing them away and becoming indifferent to them.
As you can see, during this period, the attention of parents is necessary for adolescents more than ever. Every day they are subjected to various influences, most often, unfortunately, harmful and even harmful. If you want your teenager to be able to survive in today’s world, you need to be more with him, filling him with positive emotions; this is especially important when confusion is in his soul. If you still find time to satisfy all his emotional needs, he will gain confidence and courage and find for himself those guidelines that will help him in life. He will become stronger and will be able to overcome the influence of those who would like to use it in their interests.