In a survey conducted in America in 1989, it turned out that 26% of children under the age of 18 live with one parent. And this figure is growing rapidly. More than 50% of newborns will spend at least part of their childhood in a single-parent family.
Today, many are convinced that a mother or father alone cannot raise a child as successfully as a complete family can. David Clevenger’s article “Parenting in the ’90s,” published in September 1992 in the journal Facets of the American Medical Society, proves the opposite. According to Clevenger, decades of research show that “nothing prevents a single parent from being a good parent.
Although, of course, personal and social prejudices in a sense reduce his chances. ”
In his article, Clevenger also quotes the words of Berry Brazelton, one of America’s most famous and respected pediatricians: “It’s a huge difference whether you raise a child or not. But even if you are alone, I still think you can handle it. Just make it harder and you will have a hard time. Being a single parent is very, very difficult, because you have to be both an educator and a breadwinner, the breadwinner of the family. ”
Such a parent has not only to earn a living, but also to manage the household. Alvin Possent, a Harvard psychiatrist, says: “A housewife mother does a lot of different things that are very important to the family. She meets children when they return home, she prepares them for school, goes to parent meetings, takes her children to the doctor. Well, if you are single and forced to work all day to support yourself and your child, who will do all this? This is the difficulty of single-parent families. ”
David Clevenger in his article cites the following facts:
“In essence, the most serious reason that reduces the ability of parents in single-parent families is poverty, which is especially serious for single mothers. Today, about 80% of America’s single-parent families live in poverty, and 45% of families with only one mother (and such families make up the majority of all single-parent families) are generally below the poverty line. ”
Why are low welfare and other specific problems affecting single-parent families so negatively? Mother and father in a complete family know that she or he has a spouse, on whom (whom) they can always rely; they support each other psychologically, morally and financially, which is deprived of a parent who raises a child alone.
The lack of such support is a strong argument in favor of the opinion that an incomplete family cannot be considered the optimal social institution that can give a good upbringing to a child. But those who think so miss one important point: single parents also have support. They cannot turn to spouses, but they can rely on other people around them — on their relatives, friends, colleagues, and can turn to various special societies and organizations.
And this support, wherever they come from, is extremely necessary for single parents. The most successful are those single-parent families that have learned to seek help and, using it, to cope with their problems. And having learned to overcome their difficulties, a single mother or father may well become wonderful parents.
A strong relationship with a teenager is based on unconditional love.
Only such love can prevent the teenager from developing resentment, prevent the emergence of a sense of fear, and protect him from the feeling of his own uselessness and inferiority.
When your relationship with a teenager is based on unconditional love, you can be sure that you are good parents. Indeed, without this foundation, it is impossible to correctly understand a teenager in order to establish the right relationship with him (and this is what distinguishes good parents from bad ones).
If there is no unconditional love, your children become a burden for you, they interfere and annoy. Unconditional love will become a guiding thread, thanks to which you will understand what your relationship with a teenager is now and what you need to do next.
Guided by unconditional love, you will learn how to properly treat a teenager and satisfy his daily needs. Moreover, you will understand when you succeed, and when not.
Do you want to be a good parent? Many ask if this is possible at all. I assure you that it is quite possible to be one and to feel confident in this.