How to turn a teenager into a man
It was 1993. At that time I was renting a 2-room apartment in which we lived with my youngest son, Ilya, who was twelve years old. The eldest son studied…

Continue reading →

1.5 years: know the world
Sufficient physical activity is very important for a one and a half year old child. He knows how to walk, many children know how to run, jump and squat. Now…

Continue reading →

Home schooling: pros and cons
In my time, all first graders were still “automatically” credited in October, and then they began to appeal to their “October conscience”, etc. Towards the end of the first grade,…

Continue reading →

Raising a boy

Boys and girls are different initially. Since childhood, girls prefer to play with dolls, outfits and relationships, boys are more interested in cars, construct something and fight. You can, of course, raise a girl from a boy, but – why? Probably a man should be raised from a boy. A real man. But what is needed for this? How to do this, given that today there are a lot of like men, weak-willed, irresponsible and indecisive, ready to throw all the problems onto women’s shoulders?

A man does not grow out of a boy by himself, and maternal love alone is not enough to form masculine traits in a boy. A boy grows up as a man when he 1) sees a model of male behavior next to him, 2) when he is raised in a manly manner, according to “male patterns”, and 3) when a man is raised from him, not a rag.
At least they make a boy out of him, not a girl. A child is shaped by culture, and if we want a boy to grow out of a child, and not a girl, our boys should have boys ‘clothes, not girls’ clothes and boys ‘clothes, not girls’ affairs and entertainments.

Unfortunately, today many fathers have a poor idea of ​​how to raise their son. Books that emphasize the need for unconditional love, the danger of control and the importance of feelings in raising a child educate in a child not male, but female qualities. Today we have to remind you of what, in particular, consists of male education.

The foundations are laid in early childhood. I am very pleased that I drove my children into ice-cold water from the first days of their lives: they were not sick, freely ran around the apartment naked and less worried about the constant “get dressed – you will freeze!” It is not discussed that a boy needs good sport since childhood. Baby – baby yoga, from a year to three – home stadium, fight with dad on the mat, accustoming to morning exercises.

The future man is able to bear the load and pain. If we raise a man, then we do not run to the baby when he fell and hit. Everything is fine: children fall, it hurts, there is no event. No need to teach a little one that falling is something terrible, that any scratch is an occasion to hug him and regret it … If the kid hit and wants to be regretted, then the women have already spoiled him a little. The kid, who is raised in a manly way, does not complain about his bruises, he solves his problems himself. The future man does not cry and does not complain.

But if he really needs help, the boy will calmly approach his father or mother and will definitely ask for help. He knows that you can always count on parental help. But if the parents tell him that “you can do it yourself!” – So, you need to train to tie your shoelaces as much as necessary.

In further sports and spiritual development, four points are absolutely obligatory: athletics, swimming, martial arts and dancing. We emphasize that it is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY and that this is not only sports, but also spiritual development. Your son must overtake his peers in both running and jumping, and should be among the best in basketball, volleyball and swimming. Martial arts will instill in him courage in the fight, self-discipline, respect for the enemy, develop the will and self-awareness of the future leader in him: he will not be among those who are constantly beaten. Moreover, percussion techniques that are mastered in martial arts are the basis for the formation of the skills of a leader and an entrepreneur in it. It is from athletes that a large number of the most successful business people come out, and the choice of sport for a guy is the laying of the foundation of his future personal qualities.

As for dancing, this is also an obligatory part of the education of an officer in the army of any country. Firstly, dancing is another form of sport, and sport is not easy: to keep your posture, not to lower your elbows, to feel a partner and hear music is not an easy task. But it is dances that make sport sport to beauty and gallantry, bring up from the boy a future attentive gentleman, not only a bumpkin and a male. It is dances that will form your son’s format: the wonderful foundation of his success and his mastery of himself, the foundation of his self-discipline. About what a format is and why a man without it is not a man, read for example here …
At the same time, it is clear that the future man is not formed by dancing and sports.

The future man is not a coward. He is not afraid to fall asleep alone in a dark room, he is not afraid to intercede for his own people, much less for a girl, he is not afraid. He is called brave and courageous. This does not mean that he is not familiar with the feeling of fear, it means that a man can be stronger than his “I’m afraid – I’m not afraid” and can be guided by the concept of male duty. Your son’s dictionary should not contain the words “I’m afraid” or “I’m scared,” there should only be a joint reflection with you: “Is this a matter of such risks or not.”

That is why the future man is not a cocky cock and not a reckless comrade who is easy to “take on weakly” and who often himself, for the sake of thrills, is ready to take risks without need: this is stupidity and irresponsibility.

HOW TO DO IT?
I became convinced that the best way to give yourself into complete and undivided possession of your child is to set certain hours that you will spend alone with him.…

...

To the twelve son: education of responsibility
After returning from the Air Force 2013, my 12-year-old son often repeated: “Positive, constructive, responsible” ... True, when I asked what he put into the concepts of “constructive” and “responsibility”,…

...

Children's tantrums: what to do with them?
Children sometimes throw tantrums: they fall to the floor, bang their hands and feet, destroy everything around. Where does this come from and what to do about it? It is…

...

About the format, or What fate will we give our children?
Like any habits, good habits in children are developed through repetitions with positive reinforcement, and usually a period of 20 to 40 days is sufficient. However, situations are not uncommon…

...