Parenting a girl: how to pave the way to female happiness
Autobiographical novel with historical dives
The strange fate of this work of mine is at first just an article about the upbringing of a girl, then a historical excursion into the past of the family and a review of her family was added, and finally, a guide for women on how to find your happiness in yourself was formed.
So: girls, creating delicate and subtle, a bunch of emotions, feelings and fantasies, a special approach to each is needed. It seems to whom, if not me, the mother of four daughters, to write on this multifaceted and exciting topic. But how is everything ambiguous and with each differently.
I will try to summarize the main thing that combines the age-old approach to the education of girls in the dynasty of my ancestors on the maternal side, the life attitudes and rules of my grandmother, my mother’s experience in educating me, the methods that I was guided in raising my daughters, and the methods of self-education and re-education yourself.
I dare to offer such a cocktail to the reader for judgment.
Whoever stops helping others becomes a burden for himself
Let’s start with the most important, in my opinion, in raising a girl, that gives her strength, desire and courage to go through life with her head held high – this is a feeling of her own dignity. A certain unbendable core, unsinkable lifebuoy, which allows you to successfully overcome life’s challenges without losing your honor, and therefore without losing respect for yourself as a person.
In itself, this feeling consists of many, components, beliefs, awareness and skills and is added drop by drop, step by step in the process of growing up and upbringing.
I think the FEMALE SENSE OF OWNERSHIP in the form of a precious necklace. Each woman has her own: special, unique, unique. The basis of the decoration is a golden thread woven from her earthly, practical affairs, daily and absolutely concrete, for which she came to this world to bring love, benefit and joy to people.
There are so many women in the world, so many different ornaments, so many useful and important women’s affairs: some have children, a man, a family, someone will choose: work, creativity, charity, someone will devote their energies to sports, collecting, gardening, cooking, this list is endless, since there are no similar women in our world.
But the depth of female happiness depends on what she does for people, how much her work is in demand and interesting to all of humanity, or to just one person!
And then, her destinations are strung on a golden thread like diamonds: the stages of her journey, the events that shaped her personality, the people whom she met were symbolic and turning points in life, her own qualities and character traits, as well as her awareness, values, achievements and changes authored by SHE SAMA.
This precious necklace has the property to grow together with the girl, it becomes richer and brighter, acquire an irresistible brilliance and radiance, and meanwhile more and more people bathe and warm in its light, beauty and warmth.
I am starting a story about the components of my necklace …
A long time ago, in the vast expanses of the Soviet kingdom, a little girl Lena Zyryanova found out that from her mother’s side she belongs to an ancient, noble family – the Konovnitsyns. Either in childhood, she lacked a sense of self-importance, or maybe she really wanted to be special and unusual, against the background of the same girls and boys that our Soviet system produced, it is difficult to determine over the old times, but this fact undoubtedly played a noticeable role in her life and becoming a character. It even seems that it was with him that the birth and strengthening of this very dignity began.
We note, however, that the Soviet philosophy of equality and fraternity also occupied a large and important place in the upbringing of this girl, and the principles of collectivism were close and sympathetic to her, but still … with all her skin she felt that it was her belonging to the count’s roots that gave her a chance to become happy and successful. In some inexplicable way, this circumstance influenced the worldview, formed the need for mandatory compliance with the high life ideals of distant ancestors, and thereby determined its own life principles and norms of behavior. Honestly, often this did more harm than good. The girl was straightforward, unbending, stubborn, she perceived a lot in this life literally and only in black and white.
But, just as “you won’t erase words from a song”, you cannot replace the events of our childhood. And the girl Lena searched, read, asked relatives about her deep roots, peered into their faces in old photographs, and slowly added up their images, from the facts of biographies, memoirs of eyewitnesses, personal letters and life events, somewhere deeply deep into herself, creating a fairy tale story about yourself and your world.