Sexual relations in primary school age
One of the features of the behavior of boys and girls of primary school age is the formation of groups that are homogeneous by sex (homogenization), the relationship between which is often described as “sexual segregation”. Children are divided into two opposite camps – boys and girls – with their own rules and rituals of behavior; treason to one’s own camp is despised and condemned, and attitude towards another camp takes the form of confrontation.
These external manifestations of psychosexual differentiation and sexual socialization are the result of psychological patterns.
Regardless of the place of residence and cultural environment, certain differences are observed in the behavior of boys and girls in the first six years of life. Boys aged 6-8 years are active and require more attention, girls are more gentle and calm. Moreover, boys are more aggressive. Aggression is the type of behavior that always distinguishes men from women, regardless of age.
Always and everywhere, boys, with rare exceptions, are focused on high achievements and should rely more on themselves than girls. In turn, the girls are distinguished by tenderness and meekness. Boys are encouraged to show more activity, girls are more caressed.
Another consequence of various stereotypes of children’s behavior is that men and women form completely dissimilar methods of group interaction.
The girls in the group pay attention primarily to who and how they belong to. They use conversation to establish social ties, to strengthen group cohesion and maintain good relations. Girls always have two tasks – to be “positive” and at the same time maintain the best possible relations with friends, so that they can achieve their own goals. Girls pave the way, increasing the level of harmony in the group, avoiding friction and focusing on their own superiority.
In groups of boys, all attention is focused on the personal merits of each member of the group. Boys use conversations for selfish purposes, for self-praise, for the protection of their “territory”. They all have one task – self-affirmation. Boys make their way through orders, threats, and bragging.
Games and activities of boys have a strongly masculine character: war, sport, adventure. Boys prefer heroic literature, read out adventure, military, chivalrous, detective themes, their objects to follow are the courageous and brave heroes of popular thrillers and TV shows: James Bond, Batman, Indiana Jones.
At this age, boys have a special need for closeness to their father, the presence of common interests with him; many idealize fathers even contrary to reality. It is at this age that the departure of the father from the family is experienced especially hard by the boys. If there is no father or relations with him do not go well, then there is a need for a figure that replaces him, which can be a coach in the sports section, a male teacher.
Girls in their circle discuss literary and real “princes”, start collecting portraits of their favorite artists, start notebooks in which they write songs, poems and folklore wisdom, which often seem primitive and vulgar to adults, delve into women’s affairs (exchange recipes, master decorations). During this period, there is a special need for emotional closeness with the mother: little girls learn to be women by copying the behavior of their mother.
Since girls develop a sense of identity through identification with their mother, their relationships with others are based on dependence on other people and attachment to them. Girls learn to be attentive, early realize the need to think primarily about others.
For them, the main value is human relationships. Girls learn to perceive all the subtleties of communication between people, to appreciate and maintain good relations. From childhood, they are always concerned about how their behavior affects others.
Games girls develop the ability to collaborate. Games in mother-daughter or dolls are role-playing games in which there are no elements of competition. And in competitive games, for example in classes, girls improve personal qualities rather than group communication skills.
In boys, the opposite is true. They suppress in themselves the desire to identify with the mother, they have to energetically suppress in themselves any manifestations of femininity (weakness, tears) – otherwise peers will tease the “girl”.
For a boy to be a man means to be different from his mother, and the boys develop a sense of identity, cultivating in themselves the consciousness of their own difference from all that is female. They repel compassion, pity, care, compliance. They do not attach so much importance to relationships with others. The only important thing is how they affect the final result.
Boys’ games teach a completely different type of behavior. In games of boys there is always a conflict and competitive beginning.