What does a woman with male behavior have in life?
Girls are fighting! In kindergarten and school, with boys and girls. Nowadays, girls fight, considering this the norm of their behavior. In addition, they are decisive, firmly defending their interests, fighting for power. Who taught them to act like men? Who was an example in the formation of non-female behavior? The answer is sad – moms! These are the daughters of women with male behavior. These women are unlucky in love, and it seems that this is waiting for their daughters.
Recently, a friend of mine told me about a man who had lost his memory and found himself in the other end of the country without documents, money and knowledge about himself. She concluded the story with the words that there was one woman who believed him, sheltered and now he lives with her. After describing it, a picture appeared in my head: an unhappy, moneyless and homeless man thanks his savior for the shelter and the roof over his head. Just in case, I asked: “It does not work, right?” “No, why,” the storyteller answers, “it turned out that he was well versed in cars, he soon got a job as a car mechanic and earned a decent profit.” She then added that he had renovated the house and was offering his current life partner not to work in kindergarten, but to become a housewife. Hearing this, I realized that the picture is different, and that another observer of the situation would not say like my friend (“there was a woman who sheltered him”), but “a man found work, met a woman, created a new family, put in order house”.
If I were not a psychologist, I would probably be surprised at such a presentation of information. However, the fact that my friend assigned a passive role to a man and gave the role of a savior to a woman in her story told me a lot. Her general attitude towards men is such that she perceives them as creatures in need of help, advice and guidance. She was used to making decisions herself about where she and her husband would spend the weekend, what he should do after coming home from work, when he should meet friends, what words he should tell his boss and how he should behave with the child. Communicating with any man (brother, father, colleague, husband, son), she advises, evaluates, controls, and furiously resents that there are no real men. Apparently, she believes that it is precisely this behavior that betrays her as a “real woman”, “Cinderella at the ball”, and that the “real man”, having felt her motherly and guiding attitude towards the strong half of humanity, will immediately want to stay with her .
This friend of mine has a daughter, she is 13 years old. The girl is independent, independent, decisive, can stand up for herself both verbally and physically. In the class, she was given the nickname “Xena – The Warrior Queen.” When “Xena” speaks of a young man who is very sympathetic, she uses such words: “darling”, “bunny”, “charming child”. She likes to take care of him, she even often transfers his portfolio from class to class, while this “charm” enjoys all the pleasures of change.
The woman herself is the creator of her successes as well as disappointments and failures. This is she from a huge mass of people living in a city, in a country, on a planet, who chooses the man who will later hurt her, She looks around her calm, balanced, reliable, who seem boring or incomprehensible to her at the moment of choice. Describing the situation of meeting her future husband, one girl said this: “We were at a party. I saw that he liked me, but the boy is embarrassed to approach. Then I came first. ” The “boy” was 30 at the time of his acquaintance, she was 25. The girl (the prototype of the future “Xena”) did not think about the fact that when meeting a man (especially at the age of thirty) he is generally unsure of himself, he will be afraid in life to take responsible decisions, he will not be able to promote his ideas at work, making it difficult for his career advancement, sitting at a low salary, he will succumb to the influence of the leader. In other words, strong friends will influence him, alienating him from the family and causing his wife’s discontent, his boss will give him overtime more often, as he is not able to refuse, in the end, he will be influenced by other women when her will not be near. After all, she did just that, as a leader, – she came up and decided for him: that they get acquainted, go to dance and he accompanies her. At the reception of a psychologist, after two years of family life, this young woman complained that he was somehow sluggish, indecisive, everything had to be done by herself. When asked what made her come up to him that evening, after thinking, the girl admitted: “I felt that I would be“ on horseback ”next to him – brave, bright, that everything would be in my opinion.” So such a woman has to be “on horseback” all the years of life together (or to decide in which hand to carry his “portfolio”).
The film “Vasilisa Mikulishna”
– And with light braids, you, my dear, I pulled you out of the cellar!