About the format, or What fate will we give our children?
Like any habits, good habits in children are developed through repetitions with positive reinforcement, and usually a period of 20 to 40 days is sufficient. However, situations are not uncommon when parents daily remind children of the need to brush their teeth and do morning exercises, the children reluctantly do this every time, but good habits have not been developed – for years!
What is the reason?
The reason is precisely what the children do every time – reluctantly.
We will decipher: children do not just go to brush their teeth, but do it with a displeased face and internal (or even external) grumble. Doing exercises is emphasized lazily and displeased … What skill in fact do they reproduce and strengthen every day? They reinforce daily the skill of dissatisfaction with brushing their teeth and morning exercises, they daily reinforce their unwillingness to do this, day after day they form the habit of not wanting to do this.
What is the conclusion? Follow the format: HOW children go to brush their teeth and how they do exercises. How? Cheerfully and with pleasure! You need to keep track of this!
In any case, it turns out that not only content is important, but also form. You put the child to do homework – in fact, in content, he does them. But how? Sad and displeased? This is not good, in this design the lessons will not be properly done. With each hour of such preparation of lessons, the child will learn not so much knowledge of the Russian language or history as the fact that the lessons are longing and sucks …
If a month in a row in the morning to do exercises, there is a habit in the morning to do exercises. But if you do exercises in the morning in a row in the morning, accompanied by sad comments and an unhappy expression on your face, you get a habit of morning longing and hatred for exercise. That is why the army for recruits begins with the format: from accustoming to how to stand, walk and talk: stand without antics, walk assembled, talk on business.
The main habit that we need to instill in our children is
Doing it reluctantly, do everything only vigorously and with pleasure.
But this is not difficult to achieve: they saw the sour face of the child and his shoulders unhappily lowered – tell him to correct it. Elementary? Do you?
In this regard, I want to tell you a story: a very important story. Perhaps it was from this story that my views began to change on what education should look like and what is most important in it.
So, it was in the village, my son Shura graduated from grade 2, and at school they said that he had a little knowledge of mathematics. I decided to deal with him. I say: “Shura, no fishing and partying, bring a briefcase here, we will be engaged.” Shura protested, but to no avail, after which he wandered behind a briefcase, dragging him. I stop: “No, Shura, they don’t carry a briefcase like that. Take it back and bring it properly. Go a dozen times. “Until you bring the briefcase normally, we’ll not sit down to do it, and you won’t go for a walk.” Shura understood, but soon realized – there were no options, and at some point brought the portfolio already as it should: calmly, cheerfully and cheerfully, like a young pioneer. The next step is not to drop the briefcase on the table, but to carefully place it. Wrested – worked and that. He thought that everything, he took out a notebook, casually threw it on the table, but here he also met resistance: “No, Shura, don’t drop it, but put it down. And the right corner is higher than the left. ” Well, I adjusted the notebook, and then sat down, resting on my elbows, such as tired. I corrected this: “No, Schur, so we don’t do our homework. We sit down, hold the back, shoulders, arms correctly. ”
So the struggle for the format began: Shura defended his right to do the lessons as he wanted, and I calmly insisted that it would not be what he wanted, but as it should.
It is clear that Shura, as a normal child, was in every possible way looking for an opportunity to depict how hard and bad he was when he was so driven by a nasty parent. But I stood adamant: “Shura, you will not have any lessons if you stay in this format. At first you will have a normal back and a normal face. ”
Shura straightened his face and back, sat up normally, but when I began to ask him tasks, he ached again: “Dad, I don’t understand anything in this math!” My answer was already confident: “Shura, you mixed up. Learn the text: “I am smart. I am stronger than mathematics, I can handle mathematics. Dad is next to me, he will help me. ” A few skirmishes, and soon Shura was repeating this text after me: “I am smart, I can handle math, I’m stronger than math!”
It was a struggle of wills. He was looking for every opportunity to express his protest and his feelings, but I forbade him to protest him and all his feelings, when he showed with his whole appearance that all this study was tearing and tired of him. Another item was his handwriting. Yes, his handwriting was not beautiful before that, but here Shura began to write with completely dissatisfied curved letters. What to do with handwriting? I objected to this: “Shura, you write as if you are exhausted by life. You probably forgot how letters are spelled. Let’s leave the math with you and learn how to write letter elements. We write a line of circles and a line of sticks.